Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
