I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
