a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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