I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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