Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
