Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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