That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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