the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
its liver damage thursday
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