I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
