I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize