Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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