I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
