There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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