but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
