Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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