At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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