forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
