You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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