omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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