Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize