a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
