it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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