Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
