I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
