What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize