is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize