laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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