It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize