Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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