i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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