no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
