one might say we're banned from that church
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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