i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
