I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
