It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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