why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
