I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
