Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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