What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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