Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
