Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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