I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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