lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
