he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize