come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize