i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
