Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
