It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
