Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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