WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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