that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
