At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
