My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
