butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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