SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
