haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
