well you can't waste a boner
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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