I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
