its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
