Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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