Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
