They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
