Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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