i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
