For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
